REIS HALL – After much soul-searching and deliberation, sources confirm that Director of Student Conduct and Development Joe Hall has officially changed his name to Joey “Rock-Solid” Halliday. “This is me now, and if you got a problem with that, we can take it outside bub ‘cause I ain’t messing around no more. Students better think twice before breaking the rules now that Rock-Solid is in the house,” growled Halliday, who reappeared at work on Monday sporting a denim vest, leather pants, and wild beard, demanding that everyone call him Joey from now on. “From here on out, there is no more Mr. Nice Guy. Cross me, brother, and you just bought yourself a one-way ticket aboard the Halliday Pain Train. Stay on my good side, and we won’t have any trouble.” At press time, Halliday was spotted cruising down the highway in his Harley, chuckling at the flashing lights and sirens of police cruisers trailing behind him.
I know this isn’t as funny if you do not go/went to Allegheny College and don’t know who this man is, but I personally like it so I put on my website cause I can.
Originally published in Allegheny College’s The Krampus.