YOUR LAB – Once again showing up to lab unprepared, sources confirm that your lab partner is one-hundred-percent set on taking you down with them. Your partner, who spends more time talking to their friends than actually working, reportedly acts with the single-minded determination to bring you down to their level. According to witnesses, your lab partner has done everything in order to make your grade just as bad as theirs, from not writing down key data to flat-out refusing to read the procedure. Sources confirm that whenever your lab partner does help out, it always ends in disaster because they will seemingly stop at nothing to make sure you fail alongside them. At press time, your lab partner has knocked over the experiment that you spent three weeks working on.
Originally published in Allegheny College’s The Krampus.