NORTH VILLAGE II – Confused by his sudden reappearance, sources confirm that Mike Daley ’16 has crawled out of the woodwork in order to post in the Allegheny Class of 2016 Facebook page. “This is first time anyone has heard or seen him in the past three years. We thought he left, but now he’s actively posting in the class group, asking people to come to his event,” said Ashlee Stalter ’16, adding that no one knew how to react to Daley worming his way out of obscurity. “His post raised so many questions, like where has he been and why is he only now wriggling back into our lives? Unless he slithers around the outskirts of campus at all times, there is no way he could have attended this school for four years.” At press time, Daley had once again disappeared into the abyss after posting a comment thanking anyone who attended his event.

Originally published in Allegheny College’s The Krampus.