NEW YORK – Saying it defied all logic and reason, sources report that an ugly person sitting on the train is happy. “God, they’re hideous, but yet here they are smiling and bobbing their head along to music. What the hell are they doing feeling good?” said Ryan Henderson, wracking his brain for any explanation of how someone so clearly unattractive could maintain a cheery mood for longer than a few seconds. “You know what? They’ve got to be faking it as a coping mechanism or something. No way you can look like that and enjoy yourself.” At press time, Henderson’s world was rocked even further after he spotted a good-looking person being sad.
