Modern Day Spartan Warrior Runs Twice A Week

PITTSBURGH – Shaping and honing his body into a veritable weapon of the Gods, modern day Spartan warrior Josh Clemens reportedly runs twice a week. “Yeah, I’m not getting younger so I figured getting out there and jogging a few times a week would be good for me,” said Clemens, who, like the heroes of an age long since past, has dedicated his mind, body, and spirit to becoming the paragon of physical perfection through a brutal, nearly inhuman training regimen. “I actually was thinking about moving up to twenty-minute sessions because I’ve noticed that I only need to walk once or twice now when I do fifteen.” At press time, the fearless Clemens was waiting to be ferried across River Styx into Elysium after incurring a mortal stomach stitch.

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